Do you find happiness in all you do? Or are you frustrated, angry, fearful, feeling out of control or helpless sometimes?
Happiness is your natural state as a “child of God,” and another word for that state is peace. Whatever diverts you from being happy and peaceful is the ego and its deep seated fears.
As humans we RESIST what causes us negative emotion. We often want what IS to be different than what it IS. We want the sick child to be well; the betrayal to be loyalty; the lost job to be ours again; the harsh words against us to be kind words. But the child is sick, the betrayal happened, the job is no longer mine, and the words were harsh. We want it all to be different than what it IS. We resist what IS. And that takes a lot of energy!
So, if you really want to live in happiness (and it’s totally worth it!) here are some steps to take:
The set-up: Someone does or says something that causes you emotion. Or an unsettling event or circumstance occurs causing emotion. Go to Step One.
1. Simply NOTICE the EMOTION you feel (without judging yourself).
Hmmm. I’m feeling–Anger, sadness, frustration, helplessness, critical, judgmental, fear about the future, worried, etc.
2. Ask–WHY am I feeling this emotion? What is going on in ME that causes this response?
Am I hurt? Disappointed? Scared? All alone? Don’t have control over this? Helpless? Etc
3. Go Deeper (or skip to Step 4): Ask WHY do I have that response? What fear has been triggered within me?
Is my pride injured? I am always ‘right’; has that been questioned? Has a childhood fear of mine kicked in? Has an inner ‘rule’ of mine been broken by another? Have my fears around security been triggered? Etc.
4. Let your resistance to the person or situation go. Let it be what it is. Accept it. Surrender your emotion and your resistance to God. You should feel a lightness if you are able to let it go–an inner PEACE!!
NOTES:
~It all is what it is. I cannot change what IS. My happiness depends on my acceptance of this.
~There are no problems. It is only a “problem” when I make it one. It is my choice to look at things differently.
~Everyone has a reason for what they do. (And it’s none of my business.:))
~The only one I have control over is MYSELF. My peace and happiness are my choice. I can chose to try to control people and events in my life OR I can chose peace and happiness and leave the rest to God who cares for all.
~I cannot know what God is asking of another, or how God is working in their life. I can only know God in my own life.
~Happiness and peace are my natural state because I am of God.
Bravo and amen!
Thank you, Barbara! I can recall two minor incidences from yesterday where I reacted with irritation; your suggested schema refocused both my inner state and the insignificance of the matters.
Thank you, Barbara! I can recall two minor incidences from yesterday where I reacted with irritation; your suggested schema refocused both my inner state and the insignificance of the matters.
Hi Brenda, the ideas that our inner state can improve, and that things are usually more insignificant than we think is totally worth the effort to notice our emotions. Thank you for these words!